His Coy Mistress
by sakuraigo3838
Summary: Kaido Kaoru is confused when he gets an anonymous love letter. He doesn't know if he's right, but he thinks a member of the Seigaku tennis team sent it...who, though? ONESHOT


His Coy Mistress

Disclaimer: I don't own Prince of Tennis.

A/N: Hi, this is my first Prince of Tennis fanfic…enjoy!

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**October 15****th**

"I will not give up!" Kaido Kaoru shouted wildly into the distance as he splashed the heavy cloth into the water and back up again. "I will master the Boomerang Snake and give it everything I've got!" He did not notice a fellow tennis player jogging past on the road.

What devotion! What determination! Surely, this man was worth his whole fan-club back at school! Ever since that fateful day, the tennis player did not stop thinking about his first love, Kaido Kaoru…

**December 21****st**

He stared through his binoculars at the black-haired boy wearing his usual green bandana. Beautiful Kaido. Wonderful Kaido. Kaido, the love of his life…

It had been two months since he had fallen in love with the Viper (except he didn't think Kaido-kun's personality was anything like a viper). Closing his eyes and lifting his face to the sky, the tennis player dreamed about kissing his one true love, holding him close, feeling the well defined muscles…his grades had been falling since Kaido had come into his life, but who cared? As long as Miss Viper was close at hand…

Although it had only been two months, our hero knew everything there was to know about him. He had been gathering data: where he trained, where he ate, what his favourite colour was…he had also sent out several spies to collect more information (not that it was always reliable)…he had to double-check before he could be sure…

But now there was no time to dally. His beloved tennis team was searching for him, calling his name. If he was found, there would be no doubt that his being gay would spread through the whole school. Not a good image for a high-ranking tennis player and Kaido-kun. Sighing most pitifully, the tennis player rose silently from the bushes and sprinted off to join his friends.

**February 14****th**

"Kaoru, there's a letter for you!" Mrs. Kaido waved a pink envelope to and fro. "Perhaps it's a Happy Valentine's Day card for you…hee hee!"

The Viper glared momentarily at his mother for being so immature. If anybody saw her like this in public, he would never hear the end of it!

"Aw, Kaoru, you didn't tell me you were going out with anyone?" Mr. Kaido teased, following his wife's lead. "But if there's anything you want to tell us about, we're all ears!"

Kaido's only response was to tear open the envelope. He scowled outwardly, but felt nervous inside. It was the first time anyone had ever sent him a Valentine's Day letter. Kaido read its contents:

Kaoru,

I have been observing your behaviour lately and I have come to one conclusion: I love you. I admire the way you run, the way you walk, even the way you hold your tennis racquet! Although you will discover my identity at a later date, be sure that you will always be _My Valentine._

From,

_Him_

Kaido blushed tomato red.

"Dear, are you alright? You're suddenly quite red-" Mrs. Kaido started, but her son was already out the door, school bag in hand. She suddenly frowned and gave a scowl that reminded Mr. Kaido of his son. "Gee, that boy didn't even finish his breakfast!"

**At school**

"Cat got your tongue, Viper? I didn't know you were wimpy enough to let one do that!" Momo laughed, but this time Kaido didn't reply. He had no heart; he was thinking about the infernal love letter. At that moment Inui approached, glasses glinting in the sunlight. Kaido gulped. What if the mystery writer was him…? The nature of the letter was very much like Inui-senpai.

_I have been observing your behaviour lately…_

The Viper's eyes darted to Inui and back to the ground. He had a stalker! Supposing it was Inui-senpai…

Kaido became thoughtful. What would it feel like having a boyfriend? Inui did have a mini-fan club. He was muscular, strong, smart, helpful…

…and cute.

Kaido was so deep in though that he did not notice a certain tennis genius approach.

"Kaido-kun, I believe you're thinking about something-or someone-special?" Fuji smiled his all-knowing smile as he took a seat next to Kaido on the bench. Kaido glanced at Tezuka and received a glare: hit on him and die.

"Um…how do you know, Fuji-senpai?" the Viper glanced uncertainly at his senior. Friend or foe? Fuji-senpai had never asked him about what he'd thought before. Unless…

The letter! Was Fuji-senpai the '_him'_? Maybe confiding in his senpai would ring a bell.

"Well…I got an anonymous Valentine's Day love letter this morning…" Kaido stammered, unsure of how to continue. "I'm just wondering…did you send it?" this came out in a garble of words. The tensai, however, understood. He frowned slightly. Tezuka's hand twitched in an agitated manner.

"Hm…I don't know about that one," Fuji's expression relaxed into a grin. "But that person must have very strong feelings about you. I just know it. So maybe you should love him back, Kaido."

"Er…okay." Fuji's answer was very suggestive. Kaido was about to say more when he was interrupted.

"Kaido, you're slacking! Ten laps round the court!" Tezuka Kunimitsu barked. "Fuji, get back here! I want you to play a game with Momoshiro!"

Guess who had been eavesdropping.

**At lunch**

Kaido sat alone munching his sandwich. Who could have sent the letter? It had to be someone from school; he didn't go out much and the few people who knew him hardly talked. It also had to be someone from the Seigaku tennis team, seeing that the people in his homeroom did not talk to him at all unless it was necessary.

So who could have sent it? Fuji probably didn't; and if he had the bucho would personally kill him (this also ruled out Tezuka). Oishi? He had the hots for Eiji and vice-versa, everybody knew that. Echizen? Kaido thought for a moment. No, the twelve-year old still had a major crush on some girl called Sakura (even though he hadn't said so). What about Taka? Yes, he had to consider him. Inui too. Even then, he was forgetting somebody…

"If it isn't the Viper," the annoying sing-song voice of Kaido's all-time rival, Momoshiro Takeshi, resounded in his ear like a foghorn waking tired soldiers at 5:30 in the morning. "Thinking about something? That's not like you!"

"As if you're one to talk! And what are you doing here?" Kaido choked on his sandwich. It would be a million years before he admitted that he'd been surprised by Momoshiro Takeshi. He'd die first.

"I'm bored. Echizen's chasing Sakura again, Eiji and Oishi and Tezuka and Fuji are having a…ahem…a sort of double date," the powerhouse tennis player snorted as if he'd cracked the funniest joke of the century. Kaido winced. That was disturbing…but he himself had some serious issues to deal with. How to start?

"Oy…don't send me a love letter…ever, ever again!" Kaido growled. Pretending that Momo had sent the love letter was the best approach. To his relief, his rival's response was one of pure shock. It could not be mistaken for anything else.

"What letter? And why would I send _you_, of all people, a love letter?!" Momo cried, obviously disgusted. "You might be gay, but I'm not! I'm going to find someone else to lunch with!"

And before Kaido could reply, Momo stormed off. The Viper mentally crossed Momo off his list of suspects. Now it was down to Taka and Inui-senpai…

**February 15****th: ****tennis**** practice**

It had been a day since he'd received that mysterious and disturbing love letter. Kaido couldn't help glancing repeatedly at the last two suspects on his list. Who could it be, Taka or Inui…?

Taka was easier to approach; he was sitting alone on a bench drinking water. Looking quickly around to see Tezuka watching Fuji, Kaido joined his fellow tennis player on the bench.

"Taka-senpai…do you…like anyone?" Kaido asked nervously. He couldn't imagine what a relationship with Taka would be like. It did, however, seem likely that one would get a lot of good sushi by being Taka's intimate.

The third-year scratched his head. "No, I don't love anyone, if that's what you mean. And anyway, if I did, I'd be too busy helping my father in the sushi shop. Why?"

"Hmph, just wondering," the Viper trudged off, shaking his head. Taka may not have liked anybody, but he was certainly in love with the sushi shop.

In the meantime, Tezuka looked sideways and frowned as he saw Kaido leaving a confused Taka on the bench. That boy had been acting strangely for the last two days. _Playboy,_ was all the captain could think of before resuming his observations of Fuji Syuusuke.

**February 18****th**

February 18th found Kaido Kaoru sitting on a bench in a deserted playground. Two days had passed since Kaido had found the sender of the love letter. How could he not have known it was Inui-senpai from the start? Caring, kind, intelligent Inui…

The Viper closed his eyes and relaxed, lips slightly open. He imagined Inui sharing a soda with him, like in that kiddie cartoon 'The Lady and the Tramp' (except the two dogs had come together with spaghetti). He went on to think of Inui kissing him…

A nearby bush suddenly rustled and Kaido jumped, startled. The sender of the love letter emerged, smiling slightly.

"Kaido-kun, you shall now know the identity of your lover…yours truly," the speaker announced proudly.

The Viper's pupils dilated. "Y-Yes…"

"For quite some time now (four months to be exact) you have been observed and admired from afar…by yours truly."

"Y-yes, I sort of figured…" Kaido stammered. Was it really true? All that was happening to him? He gave himself a quick pinch. His admirer smiled and spoke. It was as if he'd read his thoughts.

"No, this is reality. Come to me, dear, and let us have a romantic tennis match with dinner afterwards-"

"Um, no, I really have to go home now, it's getting late, my parents will be worried…" Kaido did not wait for a reply as he staggered away. He did not know what to make of this 'romantic' meeting.

The Viper's admirer watched, somewhat dissatisfied, as his lover retreated. He turned as his friend emerged from the bush.

"Kaido-kun seems dazzled by the truth…but soon, he will learn to love ore-sama (as I am irresistible), and be my coy mistress." Atobe Keigo paused for a moment. "Right, Kabaji?"

"Usu."

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A/N: How did you like it:D This, as you've probably realized, is also my very first crack fic. Please review! 


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